L27 A Siblings Grief for young Adults C13R1404

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk Coping following an anticipated death If our sibling died as the result of an illness, disability or genetic condition, we might have known for a long time that this was going to happen. The care of our sibling might have been the main focus within our family. We may even feel an initial sense of relief. They are no longer in pain, and the rest of the family can ‘move on’. We might feel guilty about these responses, but they do not mean that we are not grieving for our sibling, or that we do not wish they were still alive. Our family has been living with a difficult reality, and it is not surprising if we are now left with a mixture of complex and seemingly contradictory feelings. After seeing someone we love suffer and then die, it is natural that we may worry about the health of other people we love, or even our own. If we have medical concerns, particularly if our sibling suffered from a condition that we could also face, it could be a good idea to talk with our GP or a specialist. Coping with difficult memories We all have good and bad times as we grow up. There are few, if any, households where there have been no childhood squabbles. Later on, we might have had more serious differences. Perhaps we were not even in touch prior to our sibling’s death. All of this could leave us with a sense of incompleteness after they have died. We might have feelings of guilt or even anger towards them. Reminders of our childhood might be painful. These are difficult emotions to come to terms with, and they might take time to process. It might help to talk to someone who can see the situation from an objective viewpoint, who can perhaps offer some perspective on our relationship. Not all siblings are close for various reasons, but this does not mean that our sibling did not know that we loved them.