L27 A Siblings Grief for young Adults C13R1404

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends Our families Grief can draw families together, but that does not always happen. There can be tensions, such as: Parental grief Our parent(s) could be absorbed in their own grief and unable to offer us much support. They might even start leaning on us emotionally. Conflict Each parent may handle grief differently to the other. This might lead to conflict and arguments. Over-protectiveness: Parents may begin to worry more, even excessively, about their other children. Their over-protectiveness can be overwhelming, although hopefully this will subside in time. Out of sync grief Members of the family will not all grieve in the same way. At the exact moment that one person wants to talk about their grief, another may not. This being ‘out of sync’ with each other can lead to misunderstandings. Lack of involvement Nobody may think to involve us with funeral plans or other arrangements, particularly if our adult sibling had a partner and/or family of their own. We may have to explain our wish to be involved with these matters. Change within the family Our place in the family will have changed. We might now be the oldest, or we might be expected to replace our sibling in some way. For instance, perhaps they were the ‘life of the party.’ Now all the attention is on us. Becoming an only child If we are now the only child, we might feel very alone. We might also worry about what will happen as our parents age or become ill, and that we will be left with all the responsibility. We may feel anxious about our life when both our parents eventually die and that we will then be all alone in the world with no immediate family left.