UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | tcf.org.uk Mothers bereaved of their only child or all of their children Following this bereavement, we may now have no living children. Our hopes and dreams for future generations are ended. When we have lost our only child or all of our children, our new life is suddenly empty and frightening. We need to survive – to be there for everyone around us, and indeed for ourselves. If we are in the lonely position of being the only survivor, then we need to persevere in order to bear witness to the fact that our child did live, and that they were special, precious and loved. Over the years our memories, though bittersweet at times, will become sources of comfort. For more on this, see the TCF leaflet: For parents bereaved of an only child or all of their children Difficulties in grieving with our partner “My spouse and I are trying the best we can to be there for each other, but we find that we’re sometimes upset at different times. I might need to talk and let out my feelings, whereas at that moment they want to get on with other things. Other times, our role is reversed. We just try to take it a day at a time and respect each other’s needs of the moment.” In a loving relationship we try to support and care for one other through good times and bad. Usually, when we are down, our partner will attempt to lift our spirits. But when our child dies, we are both faced with unimaginable grief and despair which are liable to engulf us as individuals. Additionally, we may experience and express our grief so differently that our relationship becomes strained. This applies whether or not they were the biological parent of our child. Although there are many common elements in grief, we all grieve in our own way and at our own pace. Our partner or spouse may grieve in a way that is very different from us. Perhaps we express our emotions openly and want to talk, but they prefer not to talk about it, or at least not with us.
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