UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | tcf.org.uk Others in the family, particularly our own parents Everybody grieves in their own way. Our own parents have lost their grandchild and will be grieving. In addition, as they watch us, their daughter, suffering, they may not know how to react to us or cope with our intense grief. Some of us have parents who have been able to support us emotionally and practically, whereas others discover that our parents draw back from the pain. At times, we might feel that we need to protect our parents from seeing how much pain we are in. We might feel that in some respects we have lost our own mother – that she is unavailable to us because of her grief or because she is grieving in a different way which we do not understand. If we are in a caring or supportive role for elderly parents, we may now find it more difficult to offer this support. All of this can increase our sense of isolation and be very unsettling. Hopefully there are other people in our social circle – a partner, other family members, or close friends – who are able to be the emotional support we need at this vulnerable time. Children born after the death of their sibling “I welcomed the arrival of my next baby, but I also found my feelings were somehow mixed. I’m still grieving. Having a new baby did not replace my child who died.” If we have another baby after our child has died, we may be surprised by how our feelings are interwoven and how the past death is also part of the new birth. Some mothers experience vivid flashbacks during pregnancy or labour. Although we are looking forward to the birth of our new baby, we may find ourselves suffering extremes of anxiety and fear, and a loss of confidence. This can make the early weeks and months fraught. Bonding with the new baby may be affected. Lack of sleep following the birth can add to the weariness which the earlier bereavement brought, but we can be helped by settling into a new routine.
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy OTM0NTEz