After Suicide

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends It is a good idea to have a brief statement ready for release, so that accurate information is available. We may be asked for a photograph, which not every parent would wish to provide. However the media may find photographs of our child on social media, so it may be best to offer a photograph of our choice. We should ask the media to respect our need for privacy in our grief. We may be assigned a Police Liaison Officer to give us support. TCF has produced a series of factsheets with detailed advice about preparation for and coping with inquests in England and Wales, as well as the Investigation of Sudden Deaths in Scotland. See: tcf.org.uk/legalhelp The impact on the family Every death leaves a huge gap in our family: someone is missing and can never be replaced. Suicide was in the past a taboo subject. Until 1961, it was a crime in the UK. Although attitudes have changed, there can be still elements of fear and shame for families bereaved by suicide. Close friends and family may feel uncomfortable about the tragedy, and this can lead to isolation. We may encounter people (even amongst other bereaved parents) who believe that our grief is less valid, because our child apparently chose to die. There can be differences within the immediate family, in the way each person perceives the death. Misunderstandings may arise and estrangement can occur between partners who thought themselves to be close. It takes a great deal of determination to remain positive during conflict, and have respect for each other’s point of view. There are often differences in the way we grieve. We all have to make our own journey through grief, and we should allow other members of the family to do the same. Support from close friends or counsellors may be very helpful as we struggle with emotional upheaval. Often our child’s friends can be a source of strength for us. For a single parent, coping on his or her own, this is a particularly lonely time. There are added difficulties, also, for parents who are left childless or for blended families. (For more on this, see TCF leaflets on Childless parents, The bereaved lone parent , and Grieving child loss in blended and step families .)