Back to Work

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends After the death of our son or daughter our whole life changes, radically and forever. The rhythm of our life is altered; relationships with a partner and/or family members have been affected; and we might find we are unable or unwilling to perform routine chores. However, as much as life around us might have changed in our home environment, our experience in the workplace can be different because it has carried on without us and regardless of our loss. When we return to work, we will have to re-join that world and try to immerse ourselves in it, although our hearts are broken. If we are self-employed, we may soon have to focus back on our work whether we feel ready or not. Going back to work Some of us return to work very soon after the death of our child, some of us after months or even years away. There is no “right” time in this context. Our return can depend on a number of factors: our need to pick up the threads of normal life; responsibilities at work; money worries and financial necessity; the demands of our employer; fear of losing our job or business; and concerns we might have about the extra workload on colleagues who are covering for us. Any of these might make us feel we must return swiftly. On the other hand, some of us want to return to work; it can give us some relief from the deep sorrow we feel at home, and in concentrating on our work matters we might gain some temporary release from our grief. The first day back can be nerve-racking. The longer the time that has elapsed between our child’s death and our return, the more frightening it may be to leave the security of home Back to Work