One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends 4 The first day back can be challenging. No matter how much time has passed, we may be acutely anxious about how we will be received and how we will cope. As we struggle to adjust to a life without our child, we naturally turn to those closest to us, such as family or friends, for emotional support and understanding. Our workmates and managers will not be there for us in the same way. We may encounter some awkwardness and silence, but we may also be greeted with kindness and friendship. It may be useful to identify a place near work, such as a park, a church or some other quiet place, where we can go for a short break and time to be alone during the working day. Having a safe place to withdraw to could be very helpful if the day becomes difficult. Going forward, it is hoped that employers will be supportive if we need time off to attend an inquest, or to attend counselling or medical appointments. Issues for the self-employed Much of the above applies to those of us who are employed in organisations large enough to supply back-up support and alternative part-time work. Many of us, however, work alone or run our own small businesses, perhaps employing a few people. If we work for ourselves, taking time off can mean that our income ceases. Our customers may be sympathetic, but they will take their business elsewhere if made to wait too long. We may have suppliers and employees to be paid. We know that years of hard work can be destroyed by a few weeks of neglect. This can mean that whether we feel ready or not, we may need to start work sooner rather than later. It is important that we act as our own managers, protecting ourselves from being overwhelmed. We may want to limit the amount of new work we take on during the weeks and months that follow the death of our child. Isolation can also be a problem for those of us who work alone, so it is important to find ways of interacting with other people regularly, such as through voluntary work, clubs, social media or support groups.
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