The Bereaved Lone Parent

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk If lone parenting has been caused by the death of a partner, the death of a child can bring back the grief from our earlier bereavement. If we have other children, losing a sibling will probably revive their earlier grief. It may feel very frightening, as if our family is falling apart. Almost every bereaved parent will experience a profound sense of isolation, a feeling that no one else can understand the depth of our pain. For lone parents, this feeling of isolation can be particularly intense, and the isolation may become a spiral. We can feel that we’ve been abandoned and this may lead us to turn away from the company of those who have good intentions and want to help. Sometimes this loneliness and isolation can lead us into destructive behaviour. If we find that alcohol, medication or other substances help to dull our pain, it can be easy to become dependent. At this time especially we need to take care of our own health. Grief is exhausting, emotionally and physically, and we need to be gentle with ourselves to keep our bodies functioning. The early days As a bereaved lone parent it is most helpful if another adult can give practical and emotional support in the early days that follow the death of our child. Most people need help with the organising and decision-making that surround a death; there are choices to be made, but sometimes we feel too deep in shock and grief to be capable of functioning at all. We may need someone who can share the memories and act as a sounding board as we go over and over the last few days, and recount the tiny details which help us to face the impossible reality of what has happened. It helps to