The Bereaved Parent and Their Faith

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk we prayed with our children and with the people who remember them. We may indeed find ourselves growing spiritually as a result of this crisis. On the other hand, some of us find ourselves struggling. Perhaps we are angry or disappointed with God for allowing our child to die. We might not understand why our prayers did not change the outcome, and therefore feel that continued prayer is pointless. If we do feel like praying, we might lack the words. We might be surprised by the overwhelming emotions of our grief. Not only did God not protect and preserve our child, but God does not appear to be taking much care of us either. We might feel that what happened was a punishment. We may wonder about the reality of the afterlife, about where our child is now and/or whether we will be together again. We might worry about the consequences of our child’s actions or decisions. The reactions of our faith community might not be supportive, and for this reason, together with our own personal crisis of faith, we might stop participating in services. We might feel guilty and confused about any or all of the above. All of this can mean our losses are compounded. Not only has our child died, but to some extent we may have lost our faith, our relationship with our God, and perhaps our relationship with our community. These are not surprising nor unusual reactions, as many people who are grieving – particularly those who are grieving the death of a child – face something similar. How we deal now with these issues is a matter of our personal convictions. A gentle, slow approach with ourselves is usually best. Some of us find that it helps to explain how we are feeling to our religious leaders or others in the community in order for them to support us during this time. Others prefer to keep this private and work out their issues quietly in solitude.