The Bereaved Parent and Their Faith

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends Different faith perspectives within our family Sometimes our family or even our partner may be on another path to ourselves; they could follow a different faith, or their levels of adherence and participation in our faith could differ from our own. These differences may or may not have been a problem until now, but with the death of our child, we could face conflict and disagreement. Family members may have strong opinions about the rituals that are to be observed, including matters relating to the funeral and burial. Keeping the peace whilst still following our own convictions can be a challenge, depending on the depth of our differences. As far as our child’s other parent is concerned, we will probably want to reach some sort of compromise, such as including elements that are important to both of us in their funeral. We may also wish to try to take into account the wishes of other family members, particularly our own parents whose grandchild has died. Having open and calm conversations on these topics will be important, especially if we want to maintain a harmonious relationship going forward. Sadly, such issues can cause lasting and serious breaches within a family. Hopefully, as we proceed according to our convictions, but also tempering our decisions with kindness and understanding of our family’s differences, estrangements will be avoided. Finding spaces to explore our faith issues On a more personal level, the doubts and questions that may have arisen as a consequence of our child’s death can go to the very heart of our faith. We may find ourselves struggling with what might have been deeply held and longstanding beliefs, and our struggles might go very much against the flow of our usual community.