Bereaved Through Drug or Alcohol Use web version

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk Our child’s death might have followed years of addiction to drink or drugs. Addiction can have a highly destructive effect on any family. Valued personal possessions go missing, important family events are ruined by upsetting behaviour, arguments are common and rifts can occur. Our child might have become someone we did not recognise. As parents we sometimes had the sense that the person we knew before addiction took hold had vanished. We mourned the loss of that person, even though they were still alive. When the day of their death arrived, our anguish might have overwhelmed us. The pain of seeing our child struggle and suffer through adult life is now coupled with the pain of losing them forever. Our child may have had the added challenge of living with a mental health condition, such as depression or anxiety. It might have been such issues that led them to feel that the use of substances, illicit or otherwise, would help them cope. Perhaps we tried to get through to our child, encouraging them to seek help with their substance use problem and mental health. The pain of seeing them in denial about their problems might have left us feeling frustrated and powerless. If our child had sought medical or professional help, we might have had the upset of watching them struggle to access the support they needed, due to lack of resources or long waiting lists. We may feel they were let down by such services. We might also have had the distress of seeing our child face negative and insensitive attitudes from others. There is also the possibility that some of us did not discover until our child died just what had been going on. Their habits or addictions might have come as a shock. The realisation that they kept this to themselves and did not feel they could confide in us may fill us with deep sadness, as well as cause us many questions.