Bereaved Through Drug or Alcohol Use web version

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk Facing our own issues Many of us find it helpful to write down our thoughts, even if we show no- one the results. This can be in the form of a diary, an article or a poem. Writing a letter to our child, expressing our feelings, can also be helpful. Some of us may have had our own problems with drugs or alcohol, or may even be still struggling with them. We may feel guilty or responsible for exposing our child to this world. It is really worth us reminding ourselves that while guilt and blame are very natural emotions, they are also very damaging ones. Grief can tempt those of us who have previously overcome a substance use problem to slide back into it as a way of coping. It is important that we take care of ourselves and seek help if we sense that we are going down such a path. In fact, the experience of losing our child under such circumstances could even prompt us to try to beat our problem, not just for ourselves but also in memory of our child. The funeral and memorial service Taking control of elements of our life can help us to find our way forward after the shock of our child’s death. Some of the first decisions we will need to make are regarding our child’s funeral, unless they have a partner who is doing this. Hopefully, in that case, we will be able to work together on arrangements. Our child might have made their funeral wishes known before they died, perhaps even on social media postings, and we can draw some comfort from complying with these. Their friends and siblings can be a good source of suggestions for readings and music. Inquests and publicity The law in England and Wales requires that a Coroner opens an inquest into a death if there is reasonable cause to suspect that the death was due to anything other than natural causes. Deaths from substance use, particularly sudden deaths, often result in an inquest. Usually the proceedings are opened immediately, but the actual hearing may not take place until many months later. We may be assigned a Police Family Liaison Officer.