Bereaved Through Drug or Alcohol Use web version

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk If our child has died in the family home, we may be given advice by well-meaning relatives or friends to move home. We should think very carefully before making any major changes. A move may not stop the flashbacks that we endure after that dreadful event, and sometimes familiar surroundings may help sustain us through our grief. If we can be patient and avoid a snap decision, in time we will come to know if a move is right for us. Survival and going forward For those of us who have lost a child suddenly in traumatic circumstances or after ongoing difficulties, we may find that the intensity of grief continues on longer than we expected. Still, as the months pass, we find that we can start to pick up the threads of life again. Things will never be the same and we will always miss our child, but we will start to make adjustments. We will need to be prepared to lose some friends who are unable to cope with our situation, but hopefully we will also make new friends who can accept us in our grieving state. We may seek out and find consolation with other parents who have faced a similar tragedy. Many of us find comfort in remembrance activities, such as arranging a photo album or visiting a place that our child loved. Such activities can be bittersweet but rewarding too. Our child was so much more than their substance use, and fixing our thoughts on other facets of their life can bring us a measure of solace. Ideas for this type of activity can be found in the TCF Remembering our Child Handbook - tcf.org.uk/ rememberinghandbook. At first, and often for some time, it may seem impossible to imagine finding peace of mind. We are heartbroken by sad memories. We may struggle in vain to understand what happened to our child. Yet somehow, we begin to arrive at a new normality. Each person’s grief is in some ways unique, and so we each find our own survival strategies and work out ways to rebuild our lives. As we continue step-by-step on what has become our life’s journey, we carry with us the love of our child forever.