Bereavement and your health

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends Avoiding unhealthy ways of coping Some of us find that we are seeking solace in alcohol or other substances, legal or illegal. We simply want to escape the pain for a few minutes. However, we might actually find our emotions are intensified and we are less in control. In the long run, excessive use of alcohol or drugs is likely to cause problems for our health and relationships. It’s also important to remain mindful of our physical wellbeing when engaging in very intense exercise, or higher-risk activities such as extreme sports. Although these can bring a temporary distraction and respite from our grief, they cannot take away the underlying, heartrending reality. Similarly, some of us dive intensively into our study or careers to avoid facing our grief. Everyone’s response to bereavement is different. We may need to figure out what our personal coping mechanisms are, and whether they risk causing us additional problems. At first, and often for some time, it may seem impossible to imagine finding peace of mind. We are heartbroken by sad memories. We may struggle in vain to understand what happened to our child. Yet somehow, we begin to arrive at a new normality. Each person’s grief is in some ways unique, and so we each find our own survival strategies and work out ways to rebuild our lives. As we continue step-by-step on what has become our life’s journey, we carry with us the love of our child forever.