Childless Parents Newsletter, Winter 2021

Newsletter for Childless Parents | www.tcf.org.uk 11 A mask is described as an “object normally worn on the face typically for protection, disguise or performance.” As a bereaved parent, one of the first things we learn, is how to wear a mask. Without needing any physical object on our face. We learn to protect ourselves from more pain, so we mask our real feelings. We learn to disguise our real feelings. We learn to perform. Since my first time attending a TCF Retreat I have been fortunate to meet many bereaved parents, with some becoming very good friends. We have formed a group, whereby we message every other day. We listen and offer help and support when someone is struggling. Dipping in and out of the group messages when we feel able or unable to contribute. Last weekend some of us went on our second weekend away together. No need for masks. No need for protection. No need to disguise our feelings. No need to perform. We laugh, drink, cry, hug and eat together. We feel safe together. And most importantly, we shared our children together. We tell their stories. The hope, love, support, and understanding from people who “really” get it is priceless. Leaning on each other as we walk through our grief journey and learn to live without our children. Here we are together in York, without our masks. Nathan’s Mum, Rob’s Mum, Adam’s Mum, Sanjai’s Mum, Alex’s Mum, Rory’s Mum, Zara’s Nana, Sean’s Mam and Sian’s Mum. Say their names. by Sharryn McKelvie A Mask