Childless Parents Newsletter, Winter 2021

Newsletter for Childless Parents | www.tcf.org.uk 3 Evie On 23rd October 2017 at about 2.30 in the morning, we took Evie to A&E in San Sebastian as her headaches had become unbearable and so it all began. At some point on 24th October 2021, Emma, Patsy’s sister in law will be induced to bring another little girl into this world. The two opposites of the family spectrum and a synchronicity that isn’t lost on us. One part of the family mourning the death of their beautiful daughter and the anniversaries that are beginning once again, and another part of the family celebrating a new life. One of the phrases that we both hate is “Evie would have …. “. It annoys us beyond belief because we will never know what she would or wouldn’t think about certain things. But in this instance, it is actually true. Evie loved Ken and Emma as much as we do. She called them Kemma. She would be absolutely thrilled that they were having a baby and would be desperate to rush up to Kent to see them as soon as she was allowed. The fact that their baby is a little girl would be the icing on the cake. The autumn and winter for us are seasons of immeasurable pain. It starts with Evie’s birthday on 24th September and runs, without a break, through all of the anniversaries of her diagnosis, coming home, her death and it finishes with her funeral on 1 February. We put on the body armour and …. well …. we just survive. We exist. Nothing more. Christmas is a nightmare to be hidden from. But ….. Now we have something that is full of joy to balance the pain. A birth that will make another part of our family so very happy. The phrase ‘bitter-sweet’ is so poignant here. I have absolutely no idea how we will react on the day when this new life arrives, but I do know that we will survive it as we have survived so many other trials and tests. by Bryan Clover