Childless Parents Newsletter, Autumn 2021

Newsletter for Childless Parents | www.tcf.org.uk 8 “I can’t bring my son back. But as a bereaved parent, I can ask one thing of the rest of the world.” Our 21-year-old son died by suicide in 2019, a fact I tell people as soon as I can bring it into conversation, so that they’ll understand who we are as a family and as human beings. I bring the unmentionable into the light because it’s a fact of our lives, and his, that we can’t ignore or deny. But as a bereaved parent, I can ask one thing of the rest of the world. I can, in fact, insist. Don’t say committed suicide. Please say, henceforth, that a person died by suicide. We no longer presume people with schizophrenia are possessed by demons or that the chronically depressed are cursed. But suicide as the felo de se, crime against oneself, is still the ultimate taboo, even as we staff hotlines and share social media posts to prevent it. The prohibition persists. I came into Austin’s life when he was turning 6, when his father and I started dating. We blended our family of five children, four teen girls and a wee boy, about two years later but there were bumps along the way. Blended families are complicated, mental health is complex, and childhood traumas can develop into something bigger even with therapy and interventions. My Son Took His Own Life Here’s Why You Should Stop Saying ’Committed Suicide’