Childless Parents Newsletter, Spring 2022

Newsletter for Childless Parents | www.tcf.org.uk 11 It is our personal choice as to what type of ‘memorialising’ we do or how much time to spend on it. We should try to be self-aware. For instance, if a remembrance activity becomes a trigger for really sad memories and flashbacks, or if we are spending long periods of time concentrating only on this, we might need to put such activities aside for a while. The resources available to us vary from person to person, but with imagination, there is no limit to the type of meaningful activity we might try. For instance, we might not be able to manage a trip abroad to somewhere they loved to visit, but we can still learn about the country and the culture. We might not have much money to donate to a cause close to our child's heart, but we can give in other ways, such as our time, a smaller one-off donation, or by raising awareness by talking about it with others. Of course, maintaining ‘continuing bonds’ with our child is not just about practically doing things or going places. It is also a quiet space within ourselves, where our thoughts turn towards them. This is where many of us have developed our own small rituals. Perhaps it’s a cheery “good morning” at the start of the day or a quiet “good night” before sleep. Maybe it’s a silent, “So what would you think of this?” Perhaps it’s our joy at the flutter of a butterfly’s wings or the glory of the sunrise. We share these moments with our children in ways that other people perhaps never dream of. Do you have any special rituals for remembering your child? Places that you visit or things that you do? If you have any pictures to share or stories to tell, we’d love to include them in future editions of the Newsletter. Please send your submissions to info@tcf.org.uk with “Childless Parents Newsletter” on the subject line. Thank you! (Taken from “Handbook of Ideas for Remembering our Child” . Copies are available free of charge from the TCF office. Read it online here: tcf.org.uk/rememberinghandbook