Newsletter for Childless Parents, Summer 2020

Newsletter for Childless Parents | www.tcf.org.uk 14 prime example of acknowledging that. Come on, let’s all go for a walk or do the Joe Wicks workout or something but let’s pass the time and release some of those endorphine things that I was talking about earlier. I will if you will. This may be the time to try some yoga and meditation. Those that practice it will tell you about the benefits of stillness and silence for general wellbeing. Really, we have time to try it now. What do we have to lose? Crafting My personal favourite. It’s good for you for a host of reasons. It stills the mind and repetitive activity is hugely beneficial to mental well being. Find a practical way to push back. Something repetitive helps stimulate the healing part of the brain. While you are distracted in your repetitive activity, the brain is unblocking toxins and will release the stress. I’m a knit and crochet person. More crochet these days. In fact, I learned to crochet during my “in the cave” days and it has stood me well in the lockdown days too. You can order some yarn and needles from Amazon or Ebay, go on YouTube and away you go. There are plenty of bereaved parents who do it and who will help you out if you get stuck. There are bereaved parents craft groups on Facebook and if you can’t find one that you like then start one of your own or phone a friend. Lots of people are turning to DIY. This is not really for me but as above, what do you have to lose? Oh, maybe a thumb. Be careful. Ok, Social Media Tricky one this one. Like marmite. Love it or hate it. I wasn’t on Facebook before James died but I joined it soon after and it has been my lifeline. I have met some incredible people through Facebook groups set up by TCF who I now consider close friends. I know that there is a debate about the benefits of social media versus the negatives but for me it works. And I believe that, like everything, the key is in how you use it. It’s a tool. Use it wisely and to your advantage and it will be positive. If you practice the tips above, ‘humour’ ‘deep breaths’ and ‘no anger allowed’ you will benefit from the experience. If you feel that you get angry and might be getting offended too often by what you are reading, maybe give it a break for a bit. It’s all a matter of practice and moderation. Adjustment and acclimatisation. Talk to people....or not I mean, really just do whatever you want. We have time at the moment. If you want to jump in to that family Zoom call with great Aunt Doris in New Zealand (even if it’s just to see who she is because you really didn’t know that you had a great Aunt Doris in NZ), then fine. But if today is the day when you couldn’t give a flying fig about whether you had 15 great aunts all scattered around the globe, then don’t! It doesn’t matter. Do what you want to do and don’t let yourself be forced into anything. This is your grief, sorry, I mean lockdown experience. Guilt A good time to deal with this topic. We are not all going to come out of this as Master Bakers playing the violin and speaking Mandarin having read all the classics and learned to play chess. Ok. It’s not going to happen. Some days, just getting through the day is good enough. Remember to be your best, not the best. Just be yourself and don’t worry about what other people are doing. They have different skills, strengths, weaknesses and issues. You just be you and the rest will follow.