Newsletter for Childless Parents, Summer 2020

Newsletter for Childless Parents | www.tcf.org.uk 4 A Time to Breathe Our lives have changed forever. Our world has shrunk. Life as we knew it has disappeared. How on earth will we cope? How can we find comfort in a new normal? Covid19 has turned everything upside down and inside out. Oh, Covid. Right. I thought we were talking about what happens to you when your child dies. But then, only a bereaved parent knows how much worse, how truly and utterly life-changing, it is to continue to live after the death of a beloved child, whatever age they are, whatever age you are. People keep asking me how I am, how I’m coping with self-isolation, social-distancing and now lockdown. And, at first, I was so afraid of the virus, my emotions went into high alert and all I could think of was I’m going to catch this and die. I’ve got a lung condition, which I manage perfectly well but a simple cold, more often than not, leads to a chest infection. It’s not that I’m afraid to die now, I just don’t want to yet. Not yet. As I write this, It’s been 3 years and 3 months since Dylan died, and I’m only just starting to feel like I can breathe as well as live. I need to find peace in my heart, and joy in my life before I die. I have to for me and for Dylan. There are several things that have helped to get me where I am now. I’m retired, so my time is practically my own, although I was still frantically busy until now. A year ago we moved to a wonderful part of the world, in the countryside, close to the sea, a dream I had worked hard