Newsletter for Childless Parents, Summer 2020

Newsletter for Childless Parents | www.tcf.org.uk 6 face people’s lack of compassion for now, or feel bitter resentment that they will hug their children and grandchildren again. You and I know I would stay confined to the four walls for eternity if I could see and hug Dylan again. So, weird as this may sound, lockdown has given me a new kind of freedom, a release from society, and time to recalibrate. I go out for walks from the house, but I’ve also discovered house cleaning and, ye gods!, ironing can be satisfying, even calming. I keep up with people I love. I’m finding I’m ok in my own company too, and it’s not hard now being house-bound. I find I’mmore able to recover from the despair that hits me from time to time. Slow living feels good. Bare feet on the grass feels wonderful. Watching nature transform the landscape and my garden, and listening to the birds, is comforting and lifts my heart. I smile spontaneously. This slower pace of living is giving me strength. Covid is having a palpable impact on the world but, as bereaved mothers and fathers we have lost much more, so much more, and still we live and carry on. My path is clearer towards Peace and Joy, now that I have begun to feel able to seek them without the outside world having an opinion. I’m in a good place at the moment, but I also recognise that this crisis, like any additional trauma after the loss of our child, hits us so much harder because we’ve already lost so much. Like anyone who survives this virus, I will again join the new brave world someday but, for now I’m taking advantage of this time away to look after myself, find my resilience, and to Be. Stay safe, friends, and keep well. Maggie Pinsent, Dylan’s mum