Childless Parents Newsletter, Winter 2020

Newsletter for Childless Parents | www.tcf.org.uk 12 Dylan Christopher 28.11.83 – 30.01.17 On 28 November this year, Dylan would be 37. My memories of his birthdays will always take me back first to the day he was born. Yes, the happiest day of my life! He came quickly, as though on a bike, starting life as he meant to go on, his legs churning the air. His body long and slender, and a beautiful head of black hair. His feet stood out, huge. His hands wide open as though reaching for the sky. When I held my boy that first time, my life changed and I cried in utter joy. I knew then that he and I would have wonderful adventures together, and that my life had a purpose. Every birthday, I’d measure his height against the wall. He grew and grew, tall, handsome, athletic and always on the go. There were the obvious special birthday at 10, 16, 18, 21, 30, and each of those was different. For his 10th birthday we were living in Brazil with my mother, and he had a bbq and pool party in her garden with all our family and his school friends. At 16, he took the day off school and turned up at my work with his girlfriend. He’d just had a piercing done, below his lip, and wanted to show me straight away. That’s when he told me he always took his birthday off. Sigh. What’s a mother ever know. At 18, he was at agricultural college, away from home, and I organised a cake with the college chef, much to Dylan’s embarrassment, although I suspect he was secretly pleased. 21, Dylan was home after an emotional visit to see his father in Venezuela. It was my birthday present to him. When I picked him up at the airport, he told me he didn’t think he’d see his father again. Dylan was right. He died a year or so later while Dylan was in Canada on a working holiday. For his 30th birthday, Dylan was living in New Zealand and we skyped, as we did almost every Sunday when he was away from home. He opened his presents while we watched. I miss that so much. Dylan’s last birthday, he spent with his two best buddies Calum and Fraser. When they booked the holiday, they were living in separate countries, so it was a question of finding dates to suit them all. The excitement was such that Dylan hadn’t realised he’d be away from home for his birthday. But, as it turned out it, he had such a good time, I’m glad that’s how it went. So, Dylan turned 33 in Nicaragua, on a beach, one of his forever favourite environments, and doing something he loved, surfing, swimming, and hanging out with his mates. While Dylan was there, he thought of his mum. I know that, and will forever have a reminder, because Dylan brought back specially chosen presents for me. He found a beautiful large conch on the beach and knew I’d love it. And, later, he came across a girl