Compassion, Summer 2020

Summer 2020 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 4 Reflections from the Editor Dear Friends I can only imagine how you are all coping while this lockdown is going on. Some of you have told me that it is giving you time to process the loss of your loved one; many, especially those of you newly bereaved, are relieved not to have to put on your mask and go out into the non-bereaved world. Some of you are finding the inability to carry out your normal routine, emphasises your loss. The whole country is struggling, but that is nothing like the devastating struggle we’ve been going through since our child died. I can only say that I’m thinking of you all and our wonderful TCF office staff who are continuing to work as hard as ever on our behalf. Lockdown is affecting us all in one way or another. On April 30th my son, Robin, would have been celebrating his 50th birthday. I usually go and buy yellow roses to put on his grave but of course I couldn’t do that nor could I go to the cemetery, so I went into my garden and picked some yellow poppies and put them in a vase. I could feel Robin grinning and giving me the thumbs up. How am I managing? Well on the first Sunday of lockdown I tripped as I was coming in from the garden and fell onto a hard floor on my left side. Thank goodness I didn’t break anything, but my shoulder in particular was very, very painful. I could hardly lift my left hand up to the tap to wash my hands, and as you know that has become a popular pastime these days. And housework? Forget it.Thanks to rest, time passing and a number of packets of paracetamol, it is much easier now. I don’t go beyond the garden as I have a lung problem so a very kind neighbour does some shopping for me. I also order vegetables online. I opened a bag of potatoes the other day and found a heart shaped one. I didn’t have the heart to turn it into a baked potato, fried potatoes or mash, so it lives on in my sitting room and makes me smile. How do I motivate myself each day? … Well, it helps to make a list - I keep it simple: Get out of bed, Put the kettle on, Eat a bowl of porridge with blueberries in - then when I’ve done each task I put a smiley face by it: I like drawing smiley faces, I give myself a pat on the back at the same time. I try not to beat myself up if I don’t get everything done, or Gina Claye