Compassion Autumn 2022

Autumn 2022 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 10 Time Capsule In 1997 my husband and I decided to lay a new patio in our back garden. Matt was 12 at the time. We had laid down the sand and were about to lay the slabs when Matt said he wanted to bury a time capsule with his favourite things in it. We thought it was such a good idea so helped him find a coffee jar to put his letter in and an old ice cream tub for other bits including a label from a jar of carrots ( I’m not sure why carrots!! I guess he liked them at the time) and one from a bottle of cream soda (his favourite drink) We put his letter in a plastic bag and then popped it in the coffee jar inside another plastic bag. The items were buried under the patio and we thought no more about it. Now move forward to 2019 and the worst scenario happened when Matt died of a sudden heart attack whilst on holiday in Portugal. I flew out to Portugal that same day and sat by his bedside. He was resuscitated and put on a life support machine until sadly it was turned off on day 9. My nightmare life began but I learned to live my new life without my soul mate and son. If anyone is interested in reading more about the Theory of Continuing Bonds the book I would recommend starting with is “Bereaved Parents and Their Continuing Bonds; love after death” by Catherine Seigel. Catherine was a counsellor in the children’s department of a big London teaching hospital and this book, based on her experience with bereaved parents, looks at how continuing bonds are formed and what sustains them. There are some copies in the library or the book can be purchased from the TCF website. Could I also recommend a booklet which you can download from our website called “The Handbook of ideas for remembering our child” It’s full of ideas for nurturing our continuing bond with our child and has lots of links to helpful websites.