Compassion Autumn 2022

Autumn 2022 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 13 autopsy revealed he had died of meningitis. The book has three sections, the short illness and death, the practical and emotional consequences of the death and eventually finding a balance in life again. This father wants other parents to know that he endured an extreme reaction to grief and survived. He also describes how joining a compassionate Friends group was a significant help to him and his wife. Anne McAreavey Both of Gill Hartley’s books “My True Son” and “Aspects of Loss” have been reviewed before but I think they are worth mentioning again. I should also mention that Gill was not a relation of mine but became a very good friend. “Aspects of Loss” is sub-headed “A Companion for bereaved Parents and Their families” and that’s exactly what it is. It’s a book to come back to when you have a new question, are having a particularly bad day or when you just need to connect with someone who knows what grieving for a beloved child feels like. This book is a mixture of poetry and prose, some written by Gill and some by others, and it covers many aspects of loss and grief. Everything in the book is inspired by Gill’s great love for Will, her only child, and, although all of us will get something from it, maybe those of you who are grieving for your only child, or all your children, will find it particularly helpful. There are several copies of “Aspects of Loss” in the library and it’s one of the books I send to nearly everyone at some point. I have no hesitation in recommending it. “My True Son” is the first book Gill had published after Will died, its sub- heading is “An Anthology of a journey through loss” and its Gill’s journey through the first two years told in beautiful poems. Some of them are her thinking out loud as in “ why are some days worse than others? Yesterday I coped quite well,---------------But today is a tear filled ocean” ( p40) and some are her talking to Will as in “The house echoes with the silence, no music expanding the walls of your room----------I miss the sound of you, all senses of you” (p68) I really like this book; it reflects Will’s life and Gill’s love and grief for him and is testament to her skill as a poet. I think most of us will find plenty here to comfort and help us and, in fact, to find our own thoughts and feelings put into words. This book is also in the library and is available to be borrowed. Mary Hartley