Compassion Autumn 2022

Autumn 2022 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 15 Lady Constance is accused by King Philip of France of being “As fond of grief as you are of your child” and she replies:- “Grief fills the room of my absent child, Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me, Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words, Remembers me of all his gracious parts, Stuffs out his vacant garments with his form; Then have I reason to be fond of grief. Fare you well. Had you such a loss as I, I could give better comfort than you do.” Reading this makes me wonder if Shakespeare had been getting some of the “Time to move on and stop wallowing in the grief” sort of advice that most have us had from people who just don’t get it and, being the wordsmith he was, he put them in their place far better than I’ve generally managed to do. He also suggests that you need to be a bereaved parent to really understand and help another bereaved parent, just as true today as it was then! Coming forward a bit more we find William Wordsworth, whose four year old daughter Catherine died in 1812, feeling guilty because, for a brief time, he’s forgotten his grief and felt some joy in his life:- “Surprised by joy-impatient as the wind I turned to share the transport-Oh! With whom But thee, deep buried in the silent tomb, The spot where no vicissitude can find? Love, faithful love, recalled thee to my mind But how could I forget thee? Through what power, Even for the least division of an hour, Have I been so beguiled as to be blind To my most grievous loss!” Isn’t it interesting just how much we have in common with that bereaved father who lived 300 years ago? I can vividly remember the first time I was distracted enough to forget about Claire for a few seconds, the first time I laughed, the first time I enjoyed going to a film or out for a meal or just