Compassion Autumn Winter 2023

18 tcf.org.uk At a certain time in our lives, most of us are forced to face a set of circumstances and events that really test our inner resilience, and in doing so, help to form us into the people we become. Annie and I losing our only son William at the age of thirteen is mine. He died on his bike one dark morning in November, hit by a car while doing his paper round before school. I will never forget the moment there was a knock on the front door, and there at 7:30 in the morning stood a lone policeman with a grave look on his face. The air disappeared out of my body in an instant. We rushed out of the house to the hospital. The image of William’s breakfast standing on the side cabinet—Marmite on toast, a cup of tea, and a bowl of cereal—will stay with me forever. This tale will focus on the business perspective, rather than the impact on my personal life. So, one of the earliest decisions I needed to make was whether or not to cancel a job interview that was scheduled for the following week. At the time, I was out of work. I was inclined to go ahead with the interview, and Annie agreed; we both needed things to distract us from the enormity of what we were facing. Preparing for the interview would be one such distraction. So the following week, I travelled to Dublin, met the owners of the company, and subsequently received an offer. The start date would be the first day in January. That first week was the most emotionally draining week of my life, bar none. It was freezing cold in Dublin, and on Monday, I duly arrived at the company’s office in a dark, dank industrial estate. The people were welcoming and excited I had joined. The firm was an early- stage software company that had hired me to head up sales and set up an office in London to target the UK financial services market. For the entirety of the trip there, and all through Christmas, I was trying to decide how I would answer the question: “Do you have children?” An innocent enough question. On the one hand, I could answer truthfully, and explain that my son had recently died, so I no longer had children. But this didn’t feel right. I was going to be meeting people for the first time, and this was no way to begin building relationships. I could just answer no, and leave it at that. Or I could answer yes, but not elaborate that he was no longer alive. This of course was absurd. I was leaning towards option 2. I could deal with the details of William’s loss as I got to know people better. So this is what I did. I managed to get through the first day relatively unscathed, throwing myself into my work, learning lots of new things and meeting different people. In the evening I set off for the guest house that had been booked for me. It was a fifteen-minute walk. There was ice and snow on the ground from a snowfall the previous week. I found the place on a dark, badly lit residential road. I rang the bell, but nobody answered. I telephoned the number, but got no reply. I could hear it ringing on the other side of the door. Frustrated and irritated, I went off to a bar to escape the cold, and returned thirty minutes COMPASSION | FEATURE - THE TEARS OF A CLOWN: SMOKEY ROBINSON & THE MIRACLES The Tears of a Clown: Smokey Robinson & The Miracles by Michael Walford-Grant