Compassion Autumn Winter 2023

3 tcf.org.uk Do you wish that Christmas would just go away this year, or that you could hibernate until it’s all over? I’m getting used to it now, but that first Christmas and particularly the build up to it after Nikki died, I don’t know how I survived. Getting the tree decorations down was painful - why did we have a tree that year? - because our other children wanted one and we had to try to keep life as normal as possible for them. In the end we spent the day itself with close friends at their house which certainly helped us get through it. Over time we have worked out a way to get through each Christmas season. I still join in the on-line worldwide candle lighting ceremony for bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents on the second Sunday in December each year which helps me know I’m not alone. This year it’s on 10th December and starts at 6.30 pm. The most important thing to remember is to do what you feel you need to do and not try and do things because friends or family feel you should - there’s no such word as should in our lives these days. Having planned for Christmas that first year we forgot about New Year. It took me completely by surprise, I felt I was going into a new year and leaving my daughter behind. That no longer happens, I feel now I’m taking both my children, Nikki and Robin, with me. I try - not to imagine the whole year stretching ahead - to look after myself, remember to eat, go for a walk each day (well, it’s a good idea) - celebrate a good day when it comes and don’t feel guilty - share my story with Compassionate Friends and listen to theirs. Sharing is healing. - be aware that other members of my family may grieve in different ways and that’s ok - don’t beat myself up; laugh at myself when things don’t go as they should - and pour myself the odd glass of wine… If you are feeling that you are so weighed down by grief and you don’t know how you will carry on, remember, you will survive; we have all been through this traumatic grief and helped by sharing with our compassionate friends we have survived; so will you. With my love to you all, Gina xxx Editor's Letter by Gina Claye Perhaps help with Memory Corner and/or find some articles on the particular season/event such as Christmas, Mothers’ Day, Father’s Day, holiday season. Please get in touch with us at info@tcf.org.uk Do you think you could help with Compassion magazine?