Compassion Spring 2022

Spring 2022 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 7 We hope that this is the first in-person weekend retreat of 2022 and that there will be more as the year goes ahead and hopefully a full programme as we go into 2023. And so to my main thought at present which is the news story of the health minister Gillian Keegan. Gillian Keegan was in the middle of a meeting with three bereaved fathers who had all lost their daughters to suicide. During the course of this meeting she was informed that her lateral flow Covid test, which she had taken prior to the meeting, was showing a positive result. Despite knowing this, but having informed the fathers and with their consent, she continued the meeting and did not leave immediately Gillian Keegan has been criticised for this decision. She has apologised and put out a statement saying that having learnt of the positive result she “….briefly continued her meeting, with a group of bereaved fathers, with their consent, but “I should have immediately ended the meeting, and on reflection this was an error of judgment on my part.” She has gone on to say that she “…apologises for not following the letter of the law and that this was a mistake.” I will leave it to others to judge whether Gillian Keegan should have taken the lateral flow test earlier or should have waited for the result, and whether she did or did not break any rules. There have been many views expressed. My own view is that this story has a very human side and that: ‘Sometimes getting it wrong might very well be the right thing to do.’ As we all know, one of the things that is very common for most bereaved parents and siblings is the need to ‘Tell our Story’, the story of our child or sibling and of our loss and grief. In my first few years that was an incredibly important part of my grieving process. And equally important is for us bereaved parents and siblings, to be able to ‘Say the Name’ of our child or sibling. The news story indicates to me that is exactly what these three fathers were doing. They were no doubt telling their story, explaining who their child was, saying their daughter’s name, describing their loss, their pain and the effect on their life and the lives of others. I leave it to others to comment on the rights and wrongs of Gillian Keegan’s action. However, what I do know as a bereaved dad and as one who has told my ‘Fabian story’ so many times, is that it would have been the wrong thing for her to have simply walked away from that group of bereaved fathers and