Compassion, Spring 2023

Spring 2023 - Compassion | tcf.org.uk 12 Book Reviews Time Lived without it’s Flow by Denise Riley Anna Read: There isn't much literature available that speaks unflinchingly about how life is for those of us left behind, the impact on us who have partly died too. Denise Rilely describes what it's like when life as we know it, stopped. The first part is written at 2 weeks following the “vanishing", and at intervals during the 3 years after. Then there is the postscript where she reviews the previous 3 years and what she has learned about living in arrested time. She talks about the scarcity of literature but explores some that has been written by other authors. Those of us who know how it feels often can't find the words to express how it is. We seek out books, poems and any material for help and guidance. We seek solidarity with other bereaved parents desperate to learn how they have managed to live on. The future we expected we had ahead of us vanishes. It's very difficult to find the words to describe what it's like. People say, ‘I can’t imagine…' or they don't want to imagine! Denise has such great mastery of language she does convey very precisely, cleverly, concisely how it feels. How we live outside time in a kind of void with time suspended. We know but we don't know. There is only before and after. How can we comprehend a future without our child whose life grew within us and our time, our life, continued with them until the day it suddenly didn't. Where has that child so full of fun and life and energy gone? There is no direction, only a skewed perception of time. A void, no onward time only the present. Time without flow. There are two reviews of the following book, the first by Michael's mum, Anna Read, and the second by Michael's dad, Chris Read.