Compassion, Spring 2023

Spring 2023 - Compassion | tcf.org.uk 13 It is amazing how much substance is contained in such a short book. It is too much to take in on first reading and so worth reading over and over. It articulates how I feel. Chris Read: This book beautifully captures the thoughts and emotions of the various stages of grief from losing a child. Because these emotions are so deep, dark, and complicated to describe, as they have never been experienced before (and are never felt by most), the right words don't exist in our language, but the author has managed to capture, as much as is possible, these emotions in her deeply descriptive words. These words are often difficult to read in their complexity and also at times in their graphicness. Some sentences you need to read over and over again to understand what she is saying, and some sentences you don't want to read at all. Her description of time is particularly accurate, with my own feelings which are that we are all travelling along a flowing river of time that gradually speeds up as you continue along it, almost as though you were moving towards a waterfall. When a child dies they are thrown out of that river of time into a timeless state of infinity but the parents left behind then try to paddle against the flow of water, and even cling on to the riverbank, to stop time altogether, whilst consecutively having an opposite desire to let go and reach the waterfall as soon as possible. Trying to add interesting ports and stop-offs along the river, is what we are doing to make that journey more bearable. This book doesn't offer grief help or counselling in the traditional sense, and doesn't leave you feeling any better about the tragedy of what has happened but it does make you realise that you are not alone in your feelings and does help you to understand the mixture of thoughts in your head. This book offers a similar empathy to being with other bereaved parents, much like a TCF get together and is definitely one of the best books I have read, so I would definitely recommend it.