Compassion, Spring 2023

Spring 2023 - Compassion | tcf.org.uk 4 Reflections from the Editor Dear Friends The start of another year! I remember the first new year after Nikki died, dreading going into a new year without her, and facing a whole year ahead of me. I didn’t think I could cope; I didn’t want to go on living… But at the same time I knew I would never do anything to end my life and put my family through the same traumatic grief that I was going through. I tried talking to a counsellor which helped to a certain extent as opening up and sharing my despairing and weird thoughts meant that I didn’t keep them locked within me which would have made the feeling of isolation and despair worse. Then we heard about TCF and went on a weekend retreat. Talking to other bereaved parents was a revelation; they understood, especially those whose child had died in the same way as Nikki, by suicide. It is important not to become isolated. ‘Sharing is healing.’ And so I continued to go to events organised by TCF, sharing my story, talking about my two children, Nikki and Robin, and listening to others. Over the years they have become my TCF family, and because we can say their names and talk about them openly without worrying, their children have too. This year there was a wonderful weekend Gathering in Northampton at the beginning of January. I chatted to several parents whom I’d known for many years but hadn’t seen for a while and I also helped with recently bereaved parents who were coming to a retreat for the first time. Many arrived on the Friday afternoon anxious, unsure what to expect but by the end of the evening we could see them chatting away and even hear laughter, and by the end of the weekend they were exchanging contact details with one another. They had found out the importance and relief of sharing with those who understood. If you haven’t been to a TCF weekend or day event then don’t be afraid, do try it. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You can go to our website at tcf.org.uk to find details of upcoming events, both in person and on-line, and information about your nearest meeting, helpful books, leaflets and publications, sibling meetings and retreats, and Gina Claye