Compassion, Spring 2023

Spring 2023 - Compassion | tcf.org.uk 5 many other things. If you need help in any way, then telephone our Helpline at 0345 123 2304 . You will be able to talk to another bereaved parent. Remember, sharing is healing. With my love, Gina, Nikki and Robin’s mum I’m writing this wrapped up in a blanket in the chilly days of January and, I have to say, it's the first two months of the year that I find the hardest. The days are so short and dark and cold and sometimes it feels like winter will never end, spring will never arrive and we’ll be stuck in winter forever. That’s a bit like our grief isn’t it? In the beginning we feel so desolate and hopeless and we just can’t imagine ever feeling any better but there is hope and very gradually it starts to get a little bit easier and gentler. One of the most important resources to help us is the support of other people and I've been thinking today about how hard it is for so many people to offer that support. If you’re ill, and are likely to be ill for some time, friends and family rally round to cook meals, walk dogs, take children to school, do piles of ironing and to keep you company. Nobody expects you to put on a brave face, or to put a time limit on your recovery or go back to work before you’re fit enough and they don’t nip across the road or round the corner to avoid having to talk to you. I just wonder why people can’t be like this when it’s grief, rather than illness, that stops us from being able to function normally. Of course some people are very supportive but many aren’t and most of us find our address book changes after our child dies. Luckily for us, or certainly for me, TCF came to the rescue and I've met so many wonderful compassionate people over the years and I'm not sure where, or who, I'd be now without you all. Another resource which has helped me a lot is reading, mainly books but also things like leaflets, the stories on our website and this quarterly magazine. A week or so ago I gave the library a long overdue sort out and I noticed that a majority of the books are written by parents whose children died quite suddenly, as my daughter did, and I'm not sure why that is. Of course many of your children have died after long illnesses, like cancer, and we do have News from the Catharine Pointer Memorial Library