21 tcf.org.uk COMPASSION | FEATURE - MANOIR MOURET doesn’t make a fuss, also glad for the time to be alone. So … not the best start to the week but things can only get better. We’re halfway through the week. Today we are out in a beautiful little market town, but my mood is low. We are sitting in a tea/book shop with gifts on sale, chandeliers on the tables, all looking very French. It reminds me of a book shop in Carlisle which is very similar, where we handed in Peter's Warhammer books, they’re a bit niche, but it’s that kind of shop. I’m trying to use my French with the lovely French man running the café, but it is no use at all. I feel flat, the way my mood has been for the past couple of days, when I know I should be doing better. I know I’m lucky to be able to be here. Then I remember about what somebody once said to me, “When you feel down think of having a dial, to lift your mood turn up the dial just a little bit … 5% or 10%”. So, I say to myself, “I’m going to be a little bit better”. My husband returns from the counter with tea and a croissant. I thank him and smile, we’ve both been through the worst years and I’m grateful yet again for what I have. I’m feeling more relaxed and comfortable, there’s some beautiful music playing in the background, there’s nobody here but us, we can hear the light rain outside and it’s peaceful. A family arrive: four adults and I think a son to one of the couples, they’re chatty and the peace is broken. They’re English and friendly which is ok, they’re entitled to be here, it’s time for us to go anyway. But I feel envious of their ease and the obvious care they have, a carefree time without the heaviness I feel. So we buy a soldier for Peter and some other gifts for the family. I look at the shelves, the things I think Peter might have bought me, along with things for himself, I know he would have done that. Tonight we have a social evening at the chateau, lovely beautiful people with whom we had an instant bond when we met each other on the Sunday evening when Margaret the owner of this lovely place made us some food in the communal area. We tell our stories to each other and I don’t feel so alone here. I look forward to pizza night on Friday. Friday is here and we are in the main part of the chateau for the pizza night. The group is impressed with my husband’s pizza making skills, though in fairness Margaret’s husband has done most of the work. He made the dough and provided all the ingredients. We have drinks and everything we need for a good evening, including the best company. It was 6 years today that Peter died. When I arrive I’m given a crystal by one of the mums and they acknowledge the day with me. We make pizzas; we talk and eat and it’s a good night. We leave the next day (Saturday). I know I’ll feel sad, but glad that I came. I appreciate the warmth I feel for the newly met people whom, should we meet again, will be there for us again. I’m also looking forward to getting home. So I leave France with a hope for all of us that we can get comfort from others who walk this path, in its various forms, at our various stages and in ways that matter to us. by Vera Griffiths Peter in France
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