Compassion Summer 2021

Summer 2021 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 14 Whilst bereavement counselling may be offered to parents for the emotional impact of child loss, little support or explanation is generally given to the distressing physical symptoms we may encounter. As a nutritional therapist and wellbeing coach, I have used both my personal and professional experience to write a book which includes advice on these overlooked aspects of grief. Not everyone has an extreme physical response to loss and trauma but there are many that do, and I was one of them. When my son died suddenly, my body reacted with violent shaking, a racing heart, a speeded-up metabolism, nausea, insomnia, a gnawing in the stomach and constantly catching my breath. This is shock. The nervous system goes into overdrive and the stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, are released as part of the fight or flight response because the body thinks it’s in danger. At certain points in early grief, I didn’t think I could possibly live one more day without sleep, without being able to eat, with a heart that was continually thumping out of my chest and legs that seemed unable to hold me up. But I did. Further down the line, there may be panic attacks, crippling fatigue, breathlessness, brain fog and, of course, endless exhausting bouts of crying – and still, incredibly, we somehow survive. Before this happened to me, I had no idea that grief could be such a physical thing, so visceral. It can put tremendous strain on your body and can, in some cases, very seriously affect your health. The stress of grief can increase inflammation in the body and research has shown it can precede cancer and heart disease. Grief also affects the brain which has to work much harder than a non-traumatised brain to keep up with everyday situations. How we can help ourselves We can’t do anything to change what has happened to us, but we can try to minimise some of the physical damage that the trauma of losing a child might have caused. The first place to start is by just giving yourself permission to stop and rest, never pushing yourself to do anything when it all feels too much. Simple breathing techniques may sound basic but when you’re traumatised, they are extremely effective for calming the nervous system and moving you out of the fight or flight response that your body may have got stuck in. Nutritional Support As the stress of grief and trauma can increase inflammation, affect your immune system, compromise your digestion and deplete your energy levels, the better your diet is, the stronger you will be physically. That, in turn, will have an effect on your emotional wellbeing. Stress uses up nutrients fast, and grief is highly stressful. In view of the stress that grief places on our bodies, good quality supplements can be viewed as valuable, if not essential back- up during this time. This is especially true Our Body’s Response to Grief and Trauma