Compassion Summer 2021

Summer 2021 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 25 but by opening windows and exploring the other rooms we let new life and healing in. Her answer to dealing with the big emotions; anger and guilt, was to ‘unearth’ and explore them. They were neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’ but just emotions that needed to be processed. She regarded the loss of our child as ‘sacred territory’ suggesting we be aware of this when seeking counselling or making decisions and when faced with difficult questions from friends and family. The phrase she used was ‘wait till your back is stronger’, till you find the words and feel ready to speak it, just as it is for you. There was so much more from this talk that resonated with me. I will be listening again and am sure I will be buying the book. I loved these two quotes: ‘Extend compassion and love to your grief’ and ‘We are many and we are beautiful’. Marie Best, Claire’s mum ‘Bearing the Unbearable ‘ and Dr Joanne Cacciatore’s latest book, ‘Grieving is Loving’ , are in our TCF library and are available for sale on the website at tcf.org.uk/shop Read the books He wore his honour with such pride father resting on one knee, looking up with loving eyes for all the world to see. A son with such potential ambition dripped from every pore, “Although my Dad’s successful I’m bound to do much more.” Youth caramelised with idealism but parents never mind for them their dreams are youth again their fate they’ll surely find. But how can fate pluck youth from life and leave the living dead I hear him cry, “Take me, I’m yours; the funeral pyre’s my bed.” But where we chose to slumber is not for mortals left to make, His father sleeps on memories that life cannot forsake. His son looks on with wisdom “I beat you to it Dad.” He beat you through the race of life. How could it be so sad. My daughter Fleur wrote this poem after her brother Alistair died in a car accident in 1985. She has just discovered it amongst some old papers. She was 14 when he died. Miranda Howle Father vs Son vs Father by Fleur Howle