COMPASSION 212 Summer 2022

Summer 2022 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 10 Shattered - Surviving the Loss of a Child by Gary Roe I’ve read quite a few books on grief and loss and got something out of all of them, but some books are hard to read and take huge amounts of concentration to stick with. This book by Gary Roe felt like an ‘easy’ read by comparison to some others. The chapters are very short (3-4 pages) and so even if you only have a short concentration span, this book is very accessible. I really liked the structure – each chapter’s format is the same including a quote from a bereaved parent, the story of one family’s loss and some questions to consider or an exercise to try. Almost every page resonated with me, I felt seen and comforted by knowing that my feelings and struggles are totally normal. It’s so sad that by knowing of other’s losses, you feel less alone but nevertheless that is the case. You are reminded that terrible things happen to people every day and our challenge is to learn how to live around our heartbreak. The chapters cover such a wide range of subjects and are split into sections – Emotional (shock, surreal, sadness, anger, guilt, lost…), Mental (confusion, crazy, forgetfulness, concentration, suicidal thoughts…), Physical (sleep, fatigue, clumsiness...), Spiritual (anger with God, spiritual searching and numbness…), Relational (unsupportive family, work, marriage, toxic people…) and importantly for all of us, Future (identity crisis, purpose, memorials, birthdays and anniversaries, finding hope…). I found the sections easy to read, easy to follow and empowering in some sense. I’m not religious so the spiritual section was least helpful for me, but I know it would be a great help to others. Overall, I’d really recommend reading this book – I’m probably going to buy my own copy as it’s something that I feel I could dip in and out of at various times, I also think I could lend it to people around me to help them understand more about how I’m feeling. Clare Fleerackers