Compassion Summer 2023

28 tcf.org.uk TCF NEWS | VOLUNTEER FOCUS Can you tell us a little about your background before getting involved with TCF? My name is Fiona, I was brought up in a very happy, loving home. I trained as a nurse and married my wonderful husband Ewan when I was 21. I have always wanted to be a mum, and 4 years after I got married, with infertility help, Aaron was born, bringing us much joy. When Aaron was 7 we adopted Colin and Jack, 2 and 3 year old siblings (with some additional needs) and then when Aaron was 11 adopted our youngest Rachel who was just 6 months old. I loved being a nurse, but decided to childmind to enable me to be a stay home mum until we adopted. I then supported Ewan in starting and running our own business. Four children with different ages, personalities and abilities had its challenges, but family life was busy and fun. We were very fortunate to have supportive friends and family around us to help during some of the tough times. How did you get involved with The Compassionate Friends? In March 2016 our life changed dramatically, when Aaron, who was then 26, was killed in a skiing accident in France. He loved life, adventure, people and music. He was killed instantly in an off-piste fall. A couple of years after losing Aaron one of his friends mentioned a screening of the film: “A love that never dies” by Jane Harris and Jimmy Edmonds. At some point after seeing the film I phoned the local TCF support group facilitator in Edinburgh. What a strange, awful, but beautifully appropriate first meeting with other bereaved parents that was. We cried, laughed, and spoke of topics never normally mentioned Can you tell us a little about your volunteering role/s with TCF? After a couple of years as part of the support group I decided to volunteer as a “grief companion”. The parent I was paired with wanted to communicate by email, so that is what we did! We shared our stories, and I just tried to offer her a space to write what needed to be written. It was a real privilege to be trusted with her grief after the sudden loss of her son. I have also companioned with 2 others. We spoke on the phone, so different to email. Raw emotions and being present in the pain and sorrow, but also often noticing the shift as a glimmer of hope, or a shared memory, or me sharing what helped me enabled them to breathe a little easier and go on. I then did the training with Ruth (TCF Helpline manager) to become a Helpline volunteer. Each Volunteer Focus Fiona Foreman: Helpline volunteer and grief companion Fiona Foreman on her farm