Compassion Summer 2023

29 tcf.org.uk TCF NEWS | VOLUNTEER FOCUS call is so varied, and yet not so varied. “I just need to speak to someone” and “how do I go on?” “I feel so angry…” are common themes in almost every call. Being there for someone when they need to talk feels so worthwhile, I remember so well that urgency to have someone who understands listen to me. I now usually do one 3 hour shift a week on the Helpline. What has been the best thing about volunteering for TCF? Good things about volunteering with TCF have been realising that although I miss our son I am not grieving like in those early days, I have found a way to live again with hope, and to hold sorrow/joy together Covid lockdown happened just as I started volunteering and this helped because TCF started online volunteers’ meetings. Living in Scotland I wouldn’t have managed many in person meetings, and meeting other online volunteers was such a support. I realised I was part of an incredible charity. The regular training and support meetings for volunteers continue online and make me feel valued, supported and part of a team. The other best thing on a call, is when the person who phoned in desperation finds they can breathe a little easier, or we share something to laugh about in our grief, or they just let me know that for today they are safe. I have learned a great deal from other bereaved parents. Seeing their courage, what helps, and that there is no one way to do grief. Learning that love for our children can continue to grow has been a very positive and surprising part of volunteering with TCF. I would encourage anyone who is thinking about becoming a volunteer to get in touch, you may be surprised like at how helpful/healing it can be. What have you found the most challenging? One of the most challenging parts of volunteering with TCF is not being able to share my own faith and belief. There are times on the Helpline when I feel that if I could share my own Christian faith with the person on the phone it could make a difference. For me, I have felt held and loved by God even when life was at its most terrifying, overwhelming and unstable. Without faith and hope I often wonder how I would have coped. TCF is not a faith-based charity, and so I do my best to respect this and find other ways to help, and of course people draw their own conclusions, even when we say nothing. What do you like to do to relax and recharge? I remember a friend sending a text a couple of weeks after Aaron died “Fiona do you want to do a 3k daily running challenge with me?” This was so different to every other text I was getting and just what I needed for me! I didn’t manage to run each day but…! So, running and walking our dog helped me relax and process coming to terms with life without Aaron, along with so many faithful friends and family members who continue to watch out and care for us. When Aaron died our lives fell apart. Would our family survive? Would my marriage survive? Would my husband (who had a complete breakdown) recover? We now live on a small farm which has been very healing for us both. Life is so different. I love feeding my 3 pet lambs, spending time with Tay our dog, collecting the eggs each morning, and appreciating simple things and the beauty of creation. I also enjoy sitting down at night (by which time I am usually completely out of energy) and eating chocolate cake in front of fire and TV!