Compassion Summer 2023

4 tcf.org.uk COMPASSION | NEWS FROM THE CATHARINE POINTER MEMORIAL LIBRARY One thing the last few months has made me think about is the physical toll that stress, either from worry, fear or from grief, takes on our bodies. My blood pressure has been checked every so often all through my nursing career and has always been on the lower side of normal so, when my GP called me in for a routine check, I wasn’t at all concerned. Imagine my surprise when this time my blood pressure was raised and stayed raised through the three times it was taken. I didn’t feel particularly wound up that day but I clearly was. Luckily I’ve got a sensible doctor whose first reaction wasn’t to reach for the prescription pad, deciding instead to monitor my BP for a while, and now it’s completely normal again. I know bereaved parents though who’ve ended up in hospital because of the havoc severe stress has caused them. We do have some books in the library which can help us to understand the physical effects of stress and can give us ideas to help ourselves and/or where to seek help. One book which is excellent for helping us to understand what is happening to us is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van de Kolk. This is not an easy read but it’s a very interesting one for understanding how traumatic events impact our brains, minds and bodies. I also have a PTSD workbook, which helps you to work through the long term effects of trauma, and The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle can help you to focus on the moment and calm the awful feelings of panic which can be so much a part of grief. Many of our more general books offer a lot of help and advice on coping strategies too; books like Vanessa May’s Love Untethered, Gina Claye’s Upright with Knickers On, and Chuck Collin’s Holding on to Love, to name but three. Another personal event, which made me think about the way our library can help people, was a reminder from the cemetery where my parents are, letting us know we needed to renew their rose bush and plot. My mum was in her 80s when she died, so had a good long life, but my dad was only in his 40s. My youngest sisters had just turned 11 and 7. It was 52 years ago and, in those days, the prevailing wisdom was that, as far as children were concerned, the least said the soonest mended so, for my sisters, our dad just vanished from their lives. They were sent to stay with my aunt until after the funeral and nobody ever talked to them about him when they came back home. All these years later you can still see how badly that affected them, and still affects them, and I’m very pleased things are different now. We don’t keep a lot of books for children in the library but we do have some, like Apricity, the book I’ve reviewed for this edition of News from the Catharine Pointer Memorial Library by Mary Hartley The first thing I’d like to say is a big thank you to everyone who’s been so patient with me while I’ve taken longer than usual to reply to emails, send out books etc. It was all due to a very stressful family situation which is thankfully just about resolved now. TCF is such a wonderfully supportive ‘family’ and I do appreciate you all.