Compassion Summer 2023

7 tcf.org.uk This is a book that I wish had been available in the weeks, months and early years after my daughter’s death. ‘And Always Annaliese’ is about grief, loss and learning to live again. It’s so well written, full of honesty but also hope. I nodded with understanding as I read from cover to cover. I wondered if this was because Clare’s story is very similar to mine; Annaliese was young – just 7 years old; my daughter Rosie was 9; Annaliese died suddenly, Rosie died suddenly; Clare had a younger surviving child, I also had a younger surviving daughter. So, of course, there was a huge amount I could relate to as she told her family’s story. Although it is very much the author’s personal story of the death of her 7 year old daughter, Annaliese, suddenly from sepsis, nevertheless, this book – full of practical and helpful suggestions and advice, could be read by anyone who has suffered the devastating experience of the loss of a child. As Clare says on the back cover, navigating life as a bereaved parent is one of the hardest things an individual will ever face. Every aspect of our world changes, and it is painful, isolating, scary and confusing. Learning to live with a grief so acute it actually hurts your heart can feel impossible. However, the author is generous in imparting all she has learnt in the years since the death of her daughter, and she sets out in her book to help others by sharing her story. She shares that story brilliantly. One of the wonderful aspects of this book, making it so readable, is the way it is set out. Each chapter considers an aspect of child loss and it’s impact on our emotional and practical life. These helpfully include the early weeks and months – even the first 48 hours, the funeral, coping with an inquest. Subsequent chapters cover all the key areas – friends and family, relationships, surviving siblings, professional support, feelings of guilt, back to work and much more. Each chapter is set out in the same easy to read format – Clare writes about the topic from her perspective and with her story, and then follows this with helpful bullet points covering ‘what have I learnt’. She follows each section with clear suggestions for anyone supporting a bereaved parent entitled ‘What can your support crew do to help’. All of this is set out in double line spacing, in under 200 pages, making it an easy read for anyone – and particularly parents in the rawness and brain fog of early grief. One of the chapters is titled ‘Finding Your Tribe’ and here Clare details the support and understanding she has gained from meeting and talking with other bereaved parents through The Compassionate Friends. I would absolutely recommend this wonderful book about parental grief and learning to live again to all those grieving for a precious child – everyone will find something that they can relate to here. It will, of course, especially appeal to parents grieving for a younger child, but those who have lost an older or adult son or daughter will also find many aspects of this heartfelt and hopeful book hugely valuable and supportive. And Always Annaliese - Learning to live with the death of our daughter by Clare Louise reviewed by Carolyn Brice COMPASSION | BOOK REVIEWS Available at tcf.org.uk/ andalwaysannaliesebook andalwaysannaliese.com