27 tcf.org.uk TCF NEWS | SUPPORTIVE EVENTS Hugh McAninch An extract from Hugh’s talk at Stirling is reprinted below: I cannot imagine ever getting over losing Christopher but can instead say “I have got by”, and I have learnt through those painful years to live with my loss, making it a part of who I am. The biggest lesson I have learnt is that everyone grieves differently, there is no right way or wrong way - but each way is to be respected. There is much joy in my life now but sometimes sadness too, especially at family occasions, birthdays, Christmas, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day. It’s at these family occasions where not only do I miss Christopher being with us but also, I miss his future too and wonder what he would be like and where he would be today, Perhaps like his dear brothers Peter and Hugh he might have been married, had a family of his own, already successful in his chosen career and settled here in Scotland. Or, life could have taken him to some distant land like Canada, America, or Australia however today he lives ON in ALL our hearts and will stay there for evermore, never forgotten. Over these long years since 1989 I have gradually been able to replace hopelessness with the gift of hope, it has been the most horrendous thing ever that I have faced in the 77 years of my life. But I know I could never have done it without those, who have travelled this path before me and it’s because of them I have been able to accept that it is possible to survive, it is possible to look to a new tomorrow and it is possible that life can be worth living again although vastly different. And therein as the Rev Canon Simon Stevens said are the attributes of this amazing organisation The Compassionate Friends. TCF ……...you have shown me that it’s possible to laugh and smile again and that’s okay. YOU have shown me that there will be days when tears will flow and that’s okay too. YOU have shown me that the love I have for Christopher will only get stronger. YOU have shown me that I could help others through my own pain. YOU have shown me that I will never be the person I was and that I had to accept that. YOU have shown me that to survive I was going to have to find new purposes. YOU have shown me that no matter what I do, no matter where I go Christopher is always with me, he will never be forgotten. Dear Friends Please be kind and gentle with yourselves during this weekend and in the coming days, weeks, and months ahead. I also hope you will find comfort in knowing others care and to know that TCF will always be there for you if you need and want it to be. And finally, I wish all of you STRENGTH for today and HOPE for tomorrow”
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