4 tcf.org.uk If you are newly bereaved, you might not be able to enjoy the (hopefully!) long, summer days. But rest assured, that despite your loss, the world still turns on its axis, albeit differently for each of us. The late Maya Angelou wrote many truths: this is one of them. “And when great souls die, after a period peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly. Spaces fill with a kind of soothing electric vibration. Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us, ‘They existed. They existed’ We can be. Be and be better. For they existed.” Yours in compassion Andrea Hi Son by Sue Higgins (see fundraising page 34 for news about Harry and Todd) Hi Son Mum here, just wanted a chat. Since I started volunteering for TCF Helpline these last 7 years I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on life since I lost you. In the beginning it was unbearable and indescribable. I was totally unprepared to lose you so suddenly and unexpectedly and devastated that I had only had exactly 6 years to the day as your Mum. I had so many plans for our future and wanted to give you so much. Life as I knew it ended and nobody knew what to say or what to do as they themselves were heartbroken. In the end it was easier to say ‘I’m fine’ if asked. I felt a pressure to at least look like I was trying to ‘get through’ this pain and felt a collective willing for the return of the Old Sue. I knew intentions were kindly meant but I felt I was still causing everyone pain. I felt guilty. I tortured myself hearing me saying to you “in a minute”, “not now”, “come on, I don’t have time for this” and I couldn’t forgive myself. I was just 27 and had no idea that I didn’t have all the time in the world. I did not know I could grieve my way and in my own time. I did not feel that I could bring you with me through my life, and only felt that you were gone forever. I locked down my sadness and became unable to say your name. I dared not remember you because when I did my control unravelled. I pined for you and hid my sadness behind a painted-on smile. COMPASSION | FEATURE: HI SON The last date for items for the next issue is 27 September 2024 Please continue to send your valued contributions to compassioneditor@tcf.org.uk Any suggestions you may have for new features are welcomed, too. For example: Do you have a favourite short quote, or some meaningful words that you find particularly relevant and comforting? If so, please send them in and we will create a new section of ‘Snippets to Save’.
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