20 tcf.org.uk This is the sometimesharrowing story of a clever, kind, enterprising young man and his mother’s helplessness as she watches his struggles with declining mental health and his ultimate choice to end his life. It is not an easy or encouraging read, but those who have followed this path will understand Jenny Espino’s need to try to make sense of her bewilderment and guilt and to explain to those who knew her son Laury, and to those who didn’t, the circumstances leading up to his death. She painfully analyses her past reactions as a mother to what had been difficult circumstances within the family. For example, she describes the physical and psychological abuse of her first husband and controlling behaviour in a later relationship and tries to convince herself that Laury’s death was not the result of poor parenting. In fact, she seems to have been an involved and caring mother in difficult circumstances. The very readable story of the author’s life with her son and his sister account for the major part of the book, and Laury’s death, his funeral and the aftermath are described in detail very movingly. Jenny Espino is active within a spiritual organization called Subud, and she received a great deal of support from fellow members, and comfort from the rituals and meditations practiced by them. After Laury’s death Jenny Espino set up a bursary fund named Blue Spirit to enable young people aged 14-25 to experience sailing to aid their mental wellbeing. During his lifetime sailing was a passion for Laury and his “happy place”. Towards the end of the book is a very articulate and insightful account of the historical lack of knowledge of mental health problems and in particular schizophrenia, which is surprisingly common. However, there is now increasing coverage in the media and in schools. This, although welcome, may magnify the feelings of guilt of parents who feel they should have recognised and acted upon symptoms of poor mental health in their child. This is the experience of the author, who admits to sometimes suffering self-blame and recrimination. She relates how she has dealt with her grief and what she would do better if given a second chance. Those of us who have lost our children to suicide will identify with those feelings. I would recommend this book for parents bereaved by suicide who may welcome the reminder that they are not alone, and their anxieties and possible grief about their parenting are emotions commonly felt by others in their situation. COMPASSION | BOOK REVIEWS Book Reviews In the Wake of a Star by Jenny Espino Reviewed by Val Holden
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