30 tcf.org.uk My love of nature was instilled in me as a child, to be honest mainly by force, with my mum declaring, “Get some fresh air and exercise”, as I was harried out of the house, whatever the weather. Now, as an adult, I love my daily walk (Ok mum, you were right!) and feel cheated if I haven’t had the fresh air on my face. However, since losing my big sister, Tracy, four years ago, the outdoors has become a place of solace, healing and hope. In fact, I truly don’t know how I’d have coped with the pain of grief if I hadn’t gone outside every day: The sound of bird song is a soothing blanket that both lifts and envelopes me. I’d like to share my thoughts, with the wish that it can help all my fellow bereaved siblings, especially those newly bereaved, to have hope and believe that they can survive the grief. To gradually see how life moves forwards, with the possibility to still bring pleasures and comfort in our new and unwanted bereaved worlds. A horse chestnut tree is my inspiration. I have sat and cried under its protective and concealing shade many times, but one specific day, on 31st March 2024, the third anniversary of Tracy’s death, the following realisation came to me. This horse chestnut tree is many years old and is slowly dying from bracket fungus (according to my husband) which is killing the tree in stages. Giant boughs have broken off and lie abandoned at its trunk, which mirrors the pain of grief like a missing limb. However, on the remaining part of the broken bough new growth continues, with shoots bursting here and there and all over the tree. This shows me that although part of us has died or feels broken, the remaining parts of us can still live with new hopes, dreams and experiences. In time, we can begin to enjoy new and positive things as we move into each new year of our altered lives. One branch has grown down into the earth and created two new trunks – I imagine this is like rebirth; the continuing growth of families which grow and widen as new partners join and babies arrive. COMPASSION | FEATURE - THE HORSE CHESTNUT TREE The Horse Chestnut Tree – My inspiration of hope. by Michelle Coultharde-Steer, Tracy’s little sister. Michelle & big sister Tracy
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