5 tcf.org.uk and their families, in memory of her brother. That respite has helped people to find some peace in beautiful, relaxed surroundings and in the company of other families who know what it feels like to grieve for a much-loved child or sibling. Margaret has very generously provided the library with a wonderful selection of books to help us to help ourselves; to be kind to ourselves. I’m not suggesting this is going to make everything ok again, nothing can do that. In a world that’s spinning hopelessly out of our control, sometimes taking control of the things we are able can help quieten the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that are so frightening and can be the triggers of panic attacks. Margaret’s books cover the following: • ‘Why we Sleep: the new science of sleep and dreams’ by Matthew Walker, healthy eating ‘In Defence of Food’ by Michael Pollan • ‘Ultra Processed People’ by Chris van Tulleken • ‘Atomic Habits’ by James Clear • ‘The Good Life’ by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz Another book, already in the library, is ‘A Happy, Healthy You’ by Caroline Yeats which is written by a young woman with terminal cancer who was also a nutritionist. This book is partly her story and partly the healthy and delicious recipes she designed. Caroline’s parents published this book after her death and it is a wonderful tribute to her, as well as a source of inspiration to others. Of course, it’s not just our physical health that suffers when we’re grieving but we’re also liable to be struggling with symptoms of PTSD, like panic attacks, anger, forgetfulness, flashbacks and so many more. We have books to help with those too, Such as ‘The PTSD Sourcebook’, ‘The Body Keeps the Score’, and ‘The Only Way is Through’ and books which specifically address such issues as panic, anger, depression or loneliness. I hope this has given you food for thought but please remember we all grieve in our own way and in our own time and this may well be a subject you’ll want to shelve for now and maybe think about later. If you feel you’d like to explore what some of these books have to offer, please contact me on library@tcf.org.uk. Thankfully I don’t feel nearly as bad now as I did 21 years ago and, what I see as my gradual re-emergence from those first agonising depths of grief, is captured very well by Sara Rian in a poem from her wonderful book ‘Find Me There’ (pp103) (your) death crushed me crumpled me up like a piece of paper. now as i bravely open. as i slowly unfold and expand. you will find love in every crease. With love from Mary Mary Hartley, TCF’s volunteer librarian, can be contacted at library@tcf.org.uk COMPASSION | NEWS FROM THE CATHARINE POINTER MEMORIAL LIBRARY
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