Compassion, Winter 2020

Winter 2020 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 7 administration of TCF continues as before. A huge thank you to them. I want to say a very special thank you to our Helpline Team of which there are too many of you to name, but you and so many others know who you are and the lifeline you provide, especially to the newly bereaved. A very special mention and shout out to Ruth Mercier who works tirelessly to ensure that the Helpline is manned 365 days a year. Special thanks to Sharon Rose, our Events Coordinator, who has had to adapt her working procedures to create new online events in place of our face to face events. Sharon has ensured that there have been regular and varied on-line specialist support groups and events. A special mention goes to Stephen Armstrong, our jewel of a fundraiser who has continued to work to ensure that the Charity is in a good place in these financially difficult times, especially as individual and group events, such as sponsorship for events like the London Marathon have been greatly curtailed. I should also like to extend a very warm welcome to our new member of staff, Shirley Gower, who has taken on the TCF scheme of ‘Grief Companions.’ This scheme has grown from strength to strength and has been recognised by the National Lottery who have provided us with funds to assist with the running of the scheme over the next few years. I would also like to thank Abi May who has worked tirelessly over the years in producing the TCF leaflets that are read and used by so many of you. Thank you also to Mary Hartley, our librarian, who provides so many of you with an avenue for your grief. I would also like to thank our Trustees who give their precious time to the Charity and who I know at all times work to ensure that the charity is properly governed. They are a wonderful group of people and I look forward to welcoming the newly formed trustee board at our next meeting in January 2021. We are all working hard to ensure that the future of TCF is bright. And finally, I want to thank the ever wonderful Gina Claye, the editor of this great magazine. Gina, you not only put so much effort into this and other TCF productions (and your own writing of course) but you do it with such love, care and affection for all bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents. And as this year comes to an end I would like to share with you all something that happened to me recently and which moved me a great deal. As many of you know I am a lawyer, but following the death of my son, Fabian, in January 2015, I moved over to being a mediator, seeking to resolve peoples’ disputes rather than fighting them. The catalyst for changing over was losing Fabian; being a mediator is a better fit for me on my personal grief journey. However, although Fabian is with me every single day, there is naturally a separation between my work life and my ‘bereavement world.’ Recently, all that changed, at least for a while. I was fortunate to win an award for my work as mediator. I made the usual award ceremony speech, expressing my surprise, appreciation and giving thanks to those associated with my work. But then I did something that I had thought about, but was really unsure as to whether I would or would not actually do. I brought my Fabian into the virtual Award room. I told the many people viewing the award ceremony that there was one more person I wanted to mention. I told them “Fabian is alive in your heart and he is now in ours, now that we have got to know about him.”