Compassion, Winter 2021

Winter 2021 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 6 able to get there anything like as often as I’d like to over the past couple of years so I think this is a good move. I will still visit Kilburn occasionally though. The new library address is 20 Abinger Drive, Lordswood, Kent, ME5 8UL. I’m writing this in October when the news is all about Christmas and the potential shortages and that’s really painful for us to hear and read about. Personally I’d happily eat beans on toast by candlelight for Christmas dinner if my Claire could be eating them with me. I think the hype is hard for all of us and, by the time you read this, it’ll be in full swing. A few years ago I went through the few books we have which give advice on how to get through the Christmas season and took the best out of each of them. The resulting article is on the website at tcf.org.uk/ideasforchristmas There’s also plenty of advice from other people on the website and there’s a leaflet called ‘Coping with Christmas’ to download too. I’ve been sitting here thinking about what’s helped me most; this one will be my 18th Christmas without Claire and, although I don’t dread it any more, I’ve had to build coping mechanisms into my life to get me through. I suppose my two best aids are to look after myself, do what I can manage and step back from things I can’t deal with. I need time for myself, time to chill out and read or watch TV or go for a walk and I can’t deal with big parties or celebrations. Secondly I include my daughter in the season, light candles for her, buy lots of sparkly things for her memorial vase at the crematorium and buy a special decoration for her. I also think about her a lot, she did love Christmas, and if I need to go off by myself to shed a few tears, then that’s what I do. I suppose it’s love that’s at the heart of Christmas, if you strip away the hype, and that includes our love for the beloved children who can’t physically be here. With that thought in mind I’ve had a look through some of our books and found a lovely poem. It’s in a book called ‘Reflections from the Heart’ , which was sent to us by members of TCF in Canada, and is called ‘Sometimes’ . That’s what really gets me through Christmas