Compassion Magazine Winter 2022

Winter 2022 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 18 Dan’s Leaf It was my birthday in March 2019 when our son Dan said, ‘sorry Dad, but your present isn’t ready yet, I’m working on it’. ‘That’s ok, no problem’, I replied. It was perhaps two weeks later, and after my birthday, that he came into the kitchen holding something. ‘There you are Dad, that’s your birthday present!’. He handed me a velvet pouch. I could feel there was a solid object inside, and slid it out into my hand. I was taken aback. I was holding a wooden leaf, lovingly carved out of a single block, and mounted on a base. I was quite stunned – by its obvious but subtle beauty, the attention to detail, the professional smooth finish, the extraordinary shaping of the leaf itself and the stalk and tip curving the air... And I was touched because this exceptional carving represented hours and hours of skilled and careful work, inspired by deep love for me, his Dad. I turned the block over to read an inscription, ‘Happy Birthday Dad, Love and Thanks, Dan’ – with a heart and leaf logo that he designed. I was almost overcome. ‘I can’t accept this Dan, it’s exquisite, I think you should keep it’, I said. ‘No Dad, it’s yours, I made it for you’, Dan replied. ‘Wow, Dan, it’s just stunning but OK’, I said, ‘I tell you what – how about I keep it until I pop my clogs, and then you can have it back again?’. ‘Yes’ said Dan, ‘that’s fine’. In retrospect, that was a very poignant exchange, as it turned out. Little over a year later, Dan took his life. A victim of seven years of severe ME (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) against which he battled so very nobly and for so long. He fought his condition successfully to a surprising degree, but in his last few months and weeks, it finally won.