30 tcf.org.uk We all were invited to share in the group but if you wanted to refrain from talking then that was fine. Lunch was served in the cafe area. A magnificent spread of tasty fresh sandwiches, quiché and fruit salad. There was plenty to go round. Everyone was so friendly and kind. There were always volunteers on hand to answer any questions you might have. The afternoon was the choice of crafts or two other topics for discussion. I went straight for the crafts as I have done before at other retreats which I have found very therapeutic for me. There was an amazing array of craft materials - so much choice. I designed a “miss you” card for Serena. It was at that point I felt overwhelmed with sadness and grief and left the group to get some fresh air....After a few minutes, Alison - one of the volunteers - kindly came out to see if I was OK. I thought that was very caring and thoughtful. We had afternoon tea and delicious cake, plus we were given friendship cards to swap names and phone numbers which was very useful and a lovely way of keeping in contact. To end the day, we all gathered in the meeting room for the closing speech. We all said our goodbyes and gentle hugs. Well, what a day! I came away feeling so glad I attended this one-day retreat. It was perfectly organised and I got the kind of comfort, I could never get from anyone else; it truly means so much to me to be in the company of bereaved parents. And so, a huge thank you to the TCF volunteers for laying on yet another amazing event! TCF NEWS | SUPPORTIVE EVENTS Our retreat weekend for parents bereaved by substance use or suicide was held in a new venue at the end of July this year. Hinsley Hall in Leeds provided the backdrop for 50+ parents to come together for two days of support, empathy and understanding. Weekend retreat at Hinsley Hall Drawing on her own experience, TCF member Jackie Hewitt (a volunteer at the retreat) has written this very helpful article about her perspectives on loss through substance use. I was kindly asked to speak at a TCF volunteer meeting about the loss of my son, Guy, and my experience of bereavement through substance use and meeting other parents with a similar (never the same) loss since his death. These are some of the things I shared: Firstly, it was important for me to speak about the person that my son was, distinctly separate from the cause of his death, as this type of loss can often be overshadowed by the circumstances of the death and somehow pushed into a category that focusses on what went wrong, rather than what was right, in a lifetime. My eldest son, Guy, was a caring, funny and generous character, who brought bundles of energy to every situation. He had a characteristic intensity and urgency, which I have recognized in others bereaved in this way, and a vulnerability from an early age, which made him sensitive to self-criticism and high levels of anxiety at times. He struggled with various Special Educational Needs at school (dyspraxia, auditory processing difficulties,
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